There comes a time in life where we find ourselves reflecting back on the life we've lived, oftentimes landing in a pit of regret. At least that is what I have found to be true - for me. Now that my 56th trip around the sun is less than 48 hours, I felt the time was right to write down the lessons that I have learned so far as well as what I hope for the future - however much time God blesses me with in order to further live as a living testimony before others.
Over the twists and turns my life has taken (the ones that I can recall, that is), I have experienced more than many people realize or have knowledge about. For this post, however, I am only going to reflect on the lessons that truly had a profound impact on me. The first lesson: I am resilient. Though it was hard to see in difficult situations, I can confidently say this about myself. By definition, a resilient person is one who possesses "the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean a person doesn't experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering." From the years of bullying endured in school to the abuse experienced in my marriage, I have bounced back from these challenging life events - albeit a bit shaken, but still able to stand again. That is not to say that my feelings were not stomped on beyond recognition - they were. What I can say today is: no matter the difficulty faced, I can stand firmer against it and, should I stumble, know with certainty that I will stand once more. there is a motivational sign in my office that says, in part, "sparkle in my eye and a smile on my face. yep, I'm ready for the day...bring it on!"
The second lesson: I possess tenacity. Thinking of examples from my life to illustrate this strength has proven to be a bit more work for this old gal. After all, the definition of tenacity (on the surface) is not what I think of my traits at first: "the quality displayed by someone who just won't quit - who keeps trying until they reach their goal." I know many might think that of me because they have watched me be focused in light of my other trait of resilience. Focus and tenacity, for me, are two different things entirely. however, after reflecting on my life, I can see that I do possess tenacity in that I do have a blend of determination, persistence and grit when it is applied to the goals I have set for myself. I don't want to let go of what I am pursuing, especially if that objective serves to help me grow as an individual. Being born in the hot month of July, my zodiac sign is the crab (Cancer) - a crustacean that has a hard shell and no backbone (okay - I know that not having a backbone is not really a great thing from the lens of human qualities i.e. being able to withstand adversity and be courageous). I have a nightshirt that lists a few qualities/traits of someone born under this sign: nurturing, tenacious, imaginative, affectionate. My dad used to tell me that I had the tenacity of a bulldog (meaning that it was not easy for me to let go once I had a hold of something I wanted - like a dog with a bone). Using the crab again, I have a hard shell and pincers that apply a force many do not expect me to have. All in all, when applying tenacity to myself, I can agree wholeheartedly with possessing determination (focus), persistence (endurance/longsuffering) and grit (courage/resolve; strength of character).
The third lesson: I am optimistic. This last lesson likely does not come as a shocker to those who truly know me. For as long as I can recall, my tendency has always been that of a glass half full perspective. Despite being bullied in school, I was inclined to (after the required tears were shed) remain hopeful that those who bullied me would become my friends. Despite mental illness and abuse, I remained hopeful that my marriage would survive - and though it did not survive as I hoped, I personally did and successfully protected my daughter from further trauma witnessing the domestic violence that was going on. Furthermore, being a single parent who had to rewrite her goals and envision new dreams, I remained optimistic about my daughter's life experiences in the face of her own challenges - refusing to let anyone tell me otherwise. Lastly, having been separated from two great jobs under no fault of my own design, I allowed myself the time to mourn the lost income before dusting myself off and putting on my optimistic lenses once more. The outcome of the optimistic perspective? Refocus and redirection. You see, no matter what you set out to do, the first steps are to have focus and direction - see where you want to go and chart the path to get there. Optimism is vital when initially chasing one's dreams; but most notably when one finds themselves hitting a large obstacle that knocks them off course. Then they must re-focus (renewed vision for where one wants to go) and then re-direct (discover a new path to get there or identify the right way to get back on the initial path taken).
These three lessons are the ones that have truly impacted me over these 56 years of living - more so in the last 35 years than any other. I am certain that they will continue to impact me for the remainder of my days allotted to me by my Creator, my Father - God. My only desire is to make the most of these lessons, as well as any others that I learn from, so that they leave a fingerprint on those who come after me. A legacy of sorts, perhaps. A moral of the story, certainly. An illustration of a life filled with joy, blessing, and love - definitely.
Be blessed & be a blessing ~
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